For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16 NKJV)
It fell to me to write the eulogy for my stillborn grandchild. Or who knows what one calls it when the baby has died before it was born? This contains part of the eulogy, but this addresses our heavenly Father’s heart and eternal life.
“Hadarah” is Hebrew for “beauty”. This is found in 1 Chronicles 16:29: “Worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness.” The beauty of holiness. It means “splendor” or “adornment”. It is a special type of beauty, the glory of the Father of Lights. It reflects the splendor of the brilliance & radiance of our God. Nothing or no one compares to our God.
Michèle is this baby’s middle name. This is the feminine form of “Michael”, meaning “Who is like God?” No one is like our God!
“For who in the skies can be compared to Yahweh? Who among the sons of the heavenly beings is like Yahweh” (Psalm 89:6)
Hadarah Michèle is in the Presence of God. Hadarah Michèle lives to God. But she died physically before she was born. She died on March 22, 2019. Her birth took place on March 23 at 6:21am. It was a full-term baby, but sadly for us, it was stillborn. For the parents, the sisters and for the extended family, this was a great sorrow. I have never known such grief! You expect older people to die, but not a baby in the womb!
Yet I praise Him even now. In the midst of my agonizing misery, I was singing a song of praise to the LORD. There was a pure moment of joy, knowing that He is sovereign and good.
“You are good, and do good.” Psalm 119:68a
Trials by Fire
“We must through many tribulations enter the kingdom of God.” Acts 14:22b (NKJV)
We all wonder why God took her. We may never know, until we also reach heaven. We don’t know what was physically wrong with the baby. She was beautifully formed! It wasn’t like their was a problem with the pregnancy. There was no cord wrapped around her. It wasn’t that we didn’t pray enough. It wasn’t the devil’s doing.
As God is a faithful Creator, He will work all things for our good to those that are called. (Romans 8:37)
But I wonder if God just didn’t want Hadarah, this precious beauty to know the ugliness of sin. Maybe the end time is upon us, and he needs spirits in heaven! In eight days, I have heard of three stillborn deaths! That is unusual for America. (These stillborn deaths may have something to do with the flu shot!)
The mother lamented. The cry of the father’s heart echoed.
The father, who is my son, has always been extremely joyful! Up until now, he had an easy life. But this was a trial by fire.
“For everyone will be seasoned with fire, and every sacrifice will be seasoned with salt.” Mark 9:49
Oh, what a sacrifice! Oh, this testing of faith!
“2 My brethen, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.”
In the hospital, when I walked in on my son holding his baby, who had already passed on to glory, it broke my heart. The mother, held her stillborn baby, and it tore at my heart. I held my granddaughter, ma petite-fille, singing over her for the first and last time, “Jesus loves you, this I know…”
A trial by fire.
Hadarah Michèle is the “the elect of God, chosen for salvation before the world began.” As David, both prophet and king, expressed in 2 Samuel 12:23b, upon the death of his child, “I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.” But Hadarah Michèle was chosen to die before she was born, to never know the stench of sin.
But we, the saints of God, are all chosen.
The Holy Spirit of God is certainly grieved over the recent deaths of over 200 Christian Nigerians, martyred for the faith within a month! (February/March 2019) He is certainly grieved over the Christian Sri Lankans murdered on the day we celebrate the glorious Resurrection. There are more martyrs dying for the cause of Christ in this day and age than at any time!
10 And they cried with a loud voice, saying, “How long, O Lord, holy and true, until You judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth?” 11 Then a white robe was given to each of them; and it was said to them that they should rest a little while longer, until both the number of their fellow servants and their brethren, who would be killed as they were, was completed. (Revelation 6:10-11 NKJV)
Is God lamenting over the many Christians murdered for their faith? Some have had a real trial by fire through the burning of churches in many parts of the world. All over the world, Christians and Jews, the “People of the Book”, are dying for their faith. He is lamenting over the ruthless deaths which are against His commandments but He is rejoicing that these saints will now be with Him!
Precious in the sight of the LORD is the death of his saints. (Psalm 116:15)
I think of the many babies cruelly aborted for the god of convenience. I believe the spirits of these aborted babies will be in heaven. The spirits of the martyrs, slain for the cause of Christ will be there in heaven. The spirit of Hadarah Michèle will be there before the throne of God Almighty. And soon these saints will all receive glorified bodies.
Jesus Christ taught:
“And this is the will of Him who sent Me, that everyone who sees the Son and believes in Him may have everlasting life; and I will raise him up at the last day.” John 6:40 But the LORD is “not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9) This is the cry of the Father’s heart, that “all shall come to repentance” and be saved in the name of Jesus Christ whose name means salvation! And what is the LORD trying to save one from?
The Ultimate Fire
10 But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night, in which the heavens will pass away with a great noise, and the elements will melt with fervent heat; both the earth and the works that are in it will be burned up. 11 Therefore, since all these things will be dissolved, what manner of persons ought you to be in holy conduct and godliness, 12 looking for and hastening the coming of the day of God, because of which the heavens will be dissolved, being on fire, and the elements will melt with fervent heat? 13 Nevertheless we, according to His promise, look for new heavens and a new earth in which righteousness dwells. (2 Peter 3:10-13)
Repent and be saved in the mighty name of Jesus Christ, Yeshua Ha’Maschiach, Emmanuel, our God with us!!
My son expressed joy as he held his tiny stillborn Hadarah Michèle in his arms. It was a momentary joy. But that will be complete when he sees her face to face in glory.
This light, temporary nature of our suffering is producing for us an everlasting weight of glory, far beyond any comparison, (2 Corinthians 4:17)
But we, those who are saints of God called by His name, will more importantly see the LORD, face to face! What a joy that will be! Oh joy of joys! We will see Jesus Christ!
Today, my family is grieved. The families of martyred Christians are grieved. This too shall pass. But we are privileged, to have amongst our families, someone who is the elect of God.
Hadarah Michèle’s short life on earth is not wasted. May this testimony of her life on earth continue on, leading people to the LORD.
May this bring consolation to someone who is grieving over the death of a loved one. Yahweh Shalom be with you!
May it motivate someone to “seek the Lord while He may be found” (Isaiah 55:6b) because there is coming THE DAY when the sheep will be separated from the goats! Those who are Christ’s will be saved … and those who are NOT believing in the LORD of Salvation will be condemned.
John 3:17-21 New King James Version (NKJV)
17 For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved. 18 “He who believes in Him is not condemned; but he who does not believe is condemned already, because he has not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. 19 And this is the condemnation, that the light has come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. 20 For everyone practicing evil hates the light and does not come to the light, lest his deeds should be exposed. 21 But he who does the truth comes to the light, that his deeds may be clearly seen, that they have been done in God.”
If someone repents and comes to the LORD Jesus Christ, even if you have murdered a Christian, even if you have had an abortion, the LORD is merciful and will forgive!
Carolyn, we are so grieved for your loss. We lost our own precious “Angel” to stillborn in the last month. I was 22 years old and 37 weeks pregnant when the doctor gave me an injection to relax false labor and it relaxed my baby’s heart. I carried for 2 weeks knowing that the baby was dead, believing for a miracle, doubting my faith, begging, bargaining, the whole gamut. By the time I came out from anesthesia the baby had been taken to the mortuary for a wicker basket casket and my parents were on the road, taking it to be buried under my mother’s headstone. I didn’t get to see her, hold her, or tell her goodbye. You are blessed to have been able to do that. Without it there is no closure. We have a blessed hope of seeing all our loved ones in Heaven, and we will know them even if we never saw them on this Earth. God is good, and He heals our wounded hearts. I didn’t write this for you to feel sorry for me. You just need to understand that, even in this time of mourning, you have much to be thankful for. I thank God for my first pregnancy. Every first time I felt a baby move within me, every picture of my growing tummy, everything. It was a blessing. Our prayers are with you at this time. We’ve been there.
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Dear Carolyn and Family,
I am so sorry for your loss of this sweet child. Yes, this kind of grief can be overwhelming at times. Your only consolation now is that Hadarah’s spirit is with the God now. I pray that as time goes by God may fill your hearts with peace and joy.
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Hi Ms Carolyn, I’m sorry for the loss of your grandchild. I just became a first time mum this year and I can imagine how devastated you and your family will be knowing Hadarah won’t be will you for long. May you continue to find solace in God. God willing, another child will come through this family to comfort them in time Amen.
We are witnessing the tragedy of Afghanistan. (Aug 2021) Last night, at our Bible Study we prayed for these souls. Then when I reached John 10:39, again I prayed this: that they would “escape out of their hand.” So grieved and grieving in the Spirit.